Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
