Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
