you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
