I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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