do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
never play flip cup with pint glasses
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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