girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize