At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
