I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize