return my video game
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
