I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My bed smells like the plague
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
