Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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