Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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