is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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