I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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