last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
love makes seman taste better
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
