Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
