Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
North Korea, Best Korea!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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