You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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