omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
