No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize