I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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