It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
