fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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