Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just want to make out with him forever
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize