i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
