I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
