weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize