every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
