I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
