i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
