also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
