i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
