You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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