Already got asked if we're dating
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize