but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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