THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
