Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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