Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
