their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
