I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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