I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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