I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You may now shotgun with the bride
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
