I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
