filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
