It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
