there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize