So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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