I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
