I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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