You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
