we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
