It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
as a side note pls kill me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
