she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
