I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
