Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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