Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
