do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
