Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
