I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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