i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
