Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
