i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
