people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
