just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
