i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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