idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
