hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize