Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
