Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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