I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
